He pulled my hood off, which I was very pleased with, I'd coped with it covering my mouth, once the initial fright wore off, now I was blinded by the light, and took a few seconds and blinks for my sight to get back to normal. He then unfastened my bounds, “Enjoy that ?” Master asked, “Yes” I replied. “Now I wonder if some hot wax could be fun as you're so cold.” Looking in the drawer he couldn't find them but I knew they were there. “Let me look,” I said, as I got up the remaining water trickled over my pussy and I peed a bit on the mat. “I've just peed a little,” I was shocked. I found the candles and lighter then went back. The mat felt cold and I couldn't believe I peed a tiny bit again. But I lay back, placing my hands on the harness, I think for security mainly. We've only done wax play once before and jeez I wasn’t sure I liked it. He slowly let the wax drip over my tummy and I started to move around, the heat, burn against my cold skin was just too much. When he let one drop fall over my nipple, well let's just say, I wanted to scream so loud, my arms went up to cover my tits as I writhed about in agony. He stopped then, “No I'm not doing this one, you’re not liking it and I'm not getting anything from it. “ “Maybe we need these low heat candles you can buy.” I said. “Are these not ?” he asked. “I don't know, I didn't know you could buy them when I bought these. I don't even know how you can have a candle that doesn't have the same burn but apparently you can. “ “ Maybe that's what people use to make designs on your body. “ I was a but disappointed I couldn't cope with them, considering how much pain my ass takes I thought I could manage this. I may buy one candle and give it a try, I think you can buy single ones. I put my hands down to my sore pussy finding everything swollen, my lips were huge. Now I understood why it hurt so much. “God have you seen my pussy, it's all swollen.” I gasped. “Well it will be, your skin was freezing. Now what would you like ?” he asked. I looked at him and simply said an orgasm please. Master grinned then rummaged about in the drawer. “You can have one orgasm with the corkscrew dildo.” I smiled, I loved that one. “But i think we should leave your pussy alone as its so swollen.” Master had put a new mat down for me, just in case I squirted, dropped a little lube on my pubic bone and rolled the dildo in it. He found my ass hole quickly and slowly started screwing it in. When he came to my sphincter muscle I gasped, he stopped for a second then the dildo continued to find its way in. With each turn my body relaxed, feeling it fill me deeply until it couldn't go any further. Master started to pump that dildo hard and fast, slowly unscrewing then screwing again, followed by more thrusting. This brought me higher than ever, as he stopped then fingers slipped into my other hole. Filling me so full it felt amazing. His fingers wriggled about on my g-spot, leaving my ass still full. I came with such force, all my tension, emotions left me whilst the dildo was thrust in and out once more, until slowly unwinding itself, it popped out. I lay on the bed spent, that play was sensational, I absolutely loved that Master included the sensory play, hoping he would again even if it doesn't really do anything for him. I patted the bed for Master to lay down next to me.
“Would you like a blowjob?” I asked. “Nah” he said, “But you haven't fun for a few days,” “I know but it's not all about that. I don't need to cum each time”
I wanted to talk to him about early and there was a burning question that was in my mind. “Do I disappoint you ?” “Only occasionally.” He told me, I didn't realise I had held my breath whilst waiting for his answer, dreading if he said yes. We lay quietly for a moment, until Dave (the dog) jumped on the bed and headed for some attention from Master. Soon followed by Muffin who just woofed at the stool as she is too bone idol to jump herself. I went around to lift her up as she fought for the top dog space with Dave. We stayed for a while on the bed, playing with the dogs until going back downstairs. When I went to bed that night I had a quick glance at my bottom, nearly 10 hours later, I still had crimson circles on my cheeks with little red dots from where the holes in the paddle had bitten my skin, making it bleed.
Sunday morning everything seems okay again, I did some sketch, then after a while I asked Master what he thought. He gave me 2 suggestions about the girls face which I changed but I appreciated the advice. I do feel guilty about the drama yesterday but in some way its cleared the air between us, so now its back to n
Still thinking about me being insolent, not really understanding why he said I was. Or maybe it was the mood I was still in, not thinking about it correctly.
A little while later I was tidying up in the kitchen when Master came in and gave me a big hug. “Okay?” he asked. I picked up the courage to ask him, “Mmmm I don't understand why I was insolent.” “Well the stroppiness is fine but pushing me away and storming out, refusing to come back in is.” He told me. “Understand?” “Not really,” I told him. “Well I'm telling you it is, understand? “ He replied. “I suppose if you say it is then it is.” I sulkily said. “Good girl,” then Master walked out of the kitchen.
Two hours later my ass still feels very sore and tender, Master asked to look at my bum, “Two very nice crimson cheeks, you've got there. How does it feel ?” Again my stubbornness won't let me be honest and say my bum was very sore, instead I said “ Fine thank you.” walking away.
I know I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, shoving him away so I could get past him, ignoring him when I went upstairs, so I know I deserved it and I know Master loves to wind me up so I've given him exactly what he wanted by reacting the way I did, so I better put a smile on my face and keep it there, no matter what Master says or does. But as I put my sketch stuff away I said, “I will put my rubbish sketch away for today.” “Ahhhhh is this what it's all about ? The sketch. I told you what I though, the faces were odd but the picture on the wall was very good. What more do you want me to say?” “Something nice first, about the figures, just something positive.” I splurted out. Immediately wishing I hadn't but knew I needed to say something. “I thought that was enough but now I know I will.” He told me, “Maybe we should leave the sketch.” “No, I like doing them.” “Well now I know I will, but as your Master I shouldn't have to say anything” I paused then, I hadn't thought of it that way, perhaps I am being unreasonable, my task is to do the sketch and post it, that's it. He will praise whatever I do, when he wants to. End off. I wish I could say what's on my mind calmly without making it into such an issue but also remember my place in this dynamic.
The day continued to be a bit strained, E went out and there was still tension in the air between us. I hate it when we are like this, it's not often we are. Eventually Master said “Right we can't let a day to ourselves go wasted, come on I think you deserve some fun.” Holding out his hand, we headed for the bedroom.
Now if you hadn't gathered by now, I'm terribly stubborn, Master is too, but I am awful, and I do admit it. My mood and stubbornness together are a terrible mix as they feed from each other, growing quickly.
So heading to the stairs, inside my head was a fight going on, being in a mood or relenting and enjoy the time together. As I got naked, I noticed him thinking what he was going to do and where he wanted me. Piling cushions up, he said, “Lie on your back, head on the cushions, arms up above. Doing as I'm told I wonder what he has planned as I undress. He gets his bungee cord, tying my arms up, then legs, I feel very stretched. That's when he decided to place the mat under me.
“Lift up” he said, both of us laughing as I couldn't move so he had so slide it under me as best he could. Taking the hood out he pulled it over my head. I was tied tight, hooded, a bit scared, a bit excited, but my mood was very very slowly lifting.
Suddenly I heard him in the toy drawer, and I wondered what pain he was going to inflict on me. Instead I felt feathers tickling me, he waved the tickling stick all over my body, I've got to admit this has been a fantasy that he uses sensory play too. But Master is a true Masochist, sensory play is a bit fluffy to him.
I began to enjoy this, as it worked up and down, I knew my body was reacting to it. Something hard then tapped a nipple, causing waves of pain, I think it was the handle. But crikey did it hurt, Master chuckled. He changed toy then, I felt lots of strands as it gently hit my tummy, I knew it was the little pink flogger. Master was enjoying this play, and I must say so did I, that was until a firmer hit across my nipples had me panting to get my breath, my hands fighting against the harness, my legs trying to move up but I couldn't. Now a chance to relax as Master treated me to more tickle play I used this time to control my breathing again. The flogger came back again, this time harder whips across my tummy, pussy, arms then thighs. As it got harder it did hurt more though my tummy was coping. Everywhere else wasn’t. “Your tummy is full of stripes now, looks like a tiger. I like that look. Did you like it ?” he asked.
“Yes Master.” I said calming down again as he had stopped. “Stay there and don't move.” He told me, walking out, I heard him in the bathroom then go downstairs.
Mmmmmmm I thought, what is he up to. I could hear cupboard doors close, bit a banging about then he came upstairs again. He readjusted my harnesses then and sat on the floor. He picked something up out of a bowl he had brought up and I heard the unmistakable sound of ice cubes.He picked one up and gently let it roll over my nipples, tummy then resting it on my pubic bone, feeling the icy cold water trickle over my pussy. Picking another one up he rolled it over my nipples again, resting a piece next to each nipple, water dripped towards my neck and sides, another piece placed on my belly button. It was an amazing feeling, though I detest cold anything, it set your nerves on fire which sounds mad considering it's an ice cube. Another cube was picked up and pushed between my legs, holding it firmly against my pussy. Now I've had ice cubes pushed up my pussy and ass before and though uncomfortable it didn't hurt like this. But it was a weird pain, it really hurt but not in a painful way. Sorry this sounds daft. But when another cube was pushed down and held tightly then pushed up my pussy I cried out loudly. Master pushed it as far up as he could before finding the other cube and holding it against my clit. The other cubes still melting over my body, it was sensational, even if I did cry out. After the fourth or fifth cube was held over my pussy I felt intense burning. This was no longer nice, this was torture. Master brought a cube up to my mouth but I moved from side to side to get away from it, I'd let my fear beat me again. If I'd stopped and just felt the cube melting into my mouth, that would have been great, instead I feared my airway was blocked and I panicked. Master then collected all the cubes that were covering my pussy He rested them on my pubic bone again, the others had all but melted. He told me not to let the cubes falls as he took the flogger and started whipping my tummy and tits. This felt much sharper with my skin cold and wet, but over and over he built up the power until 1 over my nipple had me fighting against the harnesses again. Master collected the fallen cubes and put them back again telling me not to move. Whilst he continued once more, I flinched, ouched, and fought my bounds but my body stayed still. I felt close to calling red as he held the cubes against my pussy once more. I writhed about, crying out, I held my bounds tightly, then Master moved them away. I slowly exhaled as the pain calmed down.
This morning everything was fine, I'd done my lines, then posted this week's sketch, and we were just quietly watching tv and browsing the internet. I had just started to look at the next sketch I was going to draw, Master's choice again.
Master was in one of his wind up moods. Saying silly things about anything on the tv until I asked him if he could say anything nice or have you got up on the wrong side of the bed. He just replied no. This continued until he saw my sketch.
“Omg you have a definite different side to your sketches. The faces are just very strange.” I could feel my blood start to boil, why can't he say something positive about it, my feelings were hurt as I spend a long time doing them. I'm not a trained artist, I've not had lessons in drawing, I'm only doing what I did when I worked as a pre-school manager. I try my best to copy the picture given to me. Two weeks ago he told me to stop doing black outlines so I've been focusing on that plus trying to do the hands better. This week I tried to focus on getting the body shapes right on the 3 people, especially as 2 were big beautiful women. I tried so hard on this sketch I felt so emotional when all Master said was about the odd faces. I think I'm too over sensitive with things like this, I long to hear praise. Throughout my childhood my parents only focused on negatives, a habit I'm trying to stop now. I longed for them to say well done or at least you tried instead of I knew you wouldn't do it. Yes I agree with Master the faces are not good, I tried over and over until I nearly put a hole through the paper because of erasing out so much. I think maybe I will look for just a face picture and try to practice that way, it's very hard drawing faces in the position they are in.
I know Master loves to wind me up and I always fall for it as he walked towards the kitchen he ruffled my hair, over and over. Eventually I had enough, as I closed my sketchbook, I put it down and went to go upstairs but he blocked my path. Stepping side to side he went to grab me to give me a hug, but I shoved his arms away, and managed to escape to upstairs. I knew there would be trouble as I heard him say something as I went upstairs, just couldn't hear the words.
I tidied the bedroom, cleaned the bathroom then had a shower. After wrapping my dressing gown around me, I lay on our bed with the dogs and watched tv. My head going over what just happened during the last hour. I stayed upstairs for over an hour, hearing him come upstairs to go to the bathroom, he didn't come in to see me. A sure sign he was annoyed with me.
Eventually I decided I had to face going downstairs. Bringing down a box I needed to clean before filling again it again, I walked straight through the living room, into the kitchen. Starting to sort out what I needed to do.
“Ahhhh here she is, bring me your paddle and come and bend over here.” Master called to me, he voice sounded furious. I got the paddle out and handed it to him, lifting my dress, I bent over the stool. The instant I got in position, the paddle landed, very hard, lifting my feet up, as 10 excruciatingly hard swats followed.
“I don't mind the grumpiness and attitude when I'm winding you up but I will not tolerate insolence. What do you say?” A harder swat followed. “Sorry Master.” Another hard swat as I gripped the stool. “What are you going to do for the rest of the day?” Hardest swat hit. I didn't answer, another swat, then another. “Not be in a mood.” A reign of swats continued, I had started ouching a little, but because of my mood, I refused to let him know just how bad these swats were, as I screwed my eyes tight, and clenched the stool. Finally he stopped, “What do you say ?”
“Sorry for my mood Master” I said, “And” “I won't be in a mood for the rest of the day Master.” I said through clenched teeth. To be honest I still felt pissed off. I gave him a kiss and took the paddle, as I walked away he said, “Don't get blood on your dress.” I got some baby wipes and wiped a lot of blood over my very sore, hot cheeks.
It's not easy. It never is. But what do you do when your friend is hurting themselves and you've tried with them. You talk to them, you get others to talk to them. You beg them. But they taunt you, "is that all you got? What do you plan to do next?" That's begging for something isn't it? And the one thing they don't want you to do is tell on them. But at the end of the day if they are still gonna hurt themselves what do you do? You tell, so they'll stop. Even if you loose their friendship you tell because you love them.
I'm sorry friend but I'd do it again in a heart beat. I love you.
I woke up groggy and pulled my phone off the nightstand next to my bed, 8 a.m. I groaned. I didn't want to get up yet. I scrolled fb for for a bit then got up and went to the bathroom. After that I threw on Pajama pants and walked into the living room. Josh was asleep on the couch. I smirked and grabbed a feather from my husband's game room and walked back over to ny brothers sleeping figure as soon as I bent down to mess with him he opened his eyes a bit and said "don't even think about it." I stomped my foot grrr party pooper. I then started my morning routine.
After a while Josh and I were sitting on the floor playing with Kairi when he noticed my wrist. "What is that?" He said.
"That." He pointed at my arm.
"Oh. Um." He got up and put my daughter in her jumper. He motioned for me to get up I got up and followed him outside.
"When did that happen?"
"Um..." I lit a cigarette and internally winced.
"Dani..." He used his warning tone.
"A week and a half ago." I rushed out. I took another drag and looked anywhere but him.
"I'm over here Dani." I looked at my older brother. He was wearing a red and black plaid shirt with a black shirt underneath that was partially tucked behind his belt buckle. Oh joy he bought a new belt in the week he's been here I thought to myself. He was wearing his red and black dcs. The same ones he used against my ass a week ago for attitude and then again for keeping a dirty house.
I was picking up the glass that Josh told me too while he walked around the house. "Danielle Nicole!" Shit...what did I do..
"Why the heck is your house so dirty?" I turned to face him.
"Um is NOT an answer." He said crossing his arms and looking at me.
" I've been lazy... And I haven't wanted to clean it."
"Start cleaning now."
"No! You can't force me to do anything in my own house."
He pulled off his shoe again. I backed into the wall. "I'll tell you again. Start cleaning now." Josh was deadly calm.
"No." I replied. I was scared but I was also adamant.
"Alright fine. Turn around and place your hands on the wall." I shook my head. "TURN AROUND AND PLACE YOUR DAMN HANDS ON THE WALL!" He yelled I flinched and obeyed. I heard him sigh and lift up my night gown I panicked because my butt still hurt from earlier.
"No please Nisa please don't I'm sorry my ass already hurts so much."
He turned me back to face the wall and held me in place the first swat with the shoe ignited the earlier pain in my ass I instantly started crying. "As soon as I am done spanking you like you're a kid. You're going to start cleaning the laundry room and then do the kitchen. Am I understood?" He said this as he swatted my ass with his D.C.
"Yes! Yes Sir!" I cried out. He stopoed and put his shoe back on.
"Go, get on it." He gave my ass a swat with his hand and I jumped and did as I was told while crying and rubbing my ass.
"Danielle!" I jumped and met his eyes. "Why did you?"
"Really?" He said exasperated and shook his head smiling softly he pointed at my wrist.
"All I remember is that I was so frustrated and lost. I just broke down." I put my cig out.
"Why didn't you call me? Or tell me after?"
"It didn't dawn on me to do either of those things."
"Are you being honest?"
I met his eyes "Yes sir"
"Alright." He got quiet for a second. "You're getting spanked for your wrist but since you didn't give me any trouble I'm gonna let you choose what I spank you with."
He laughed, " nice try Dani belt switch or paddle."
"Alright go inside and take care of kairi I need to get something out of my car." I obeyed.
Thirty minutes later I stood in front of my brother as he sat on the leather sectional. He handed me the paddle he was going to use on me. It was medium sized with what looked like 2 wooden panels covering a centimeter of plastic there were 6 holes in it. I flinched and handed it back to him.
"Why are you about to be punished?" I recounted why. "Pants down and a hand warm up or straight paddle?"
"Just paddle." He sat back on the couch and patted his lap. I laid across him with my whole body on the couch. "Joshie?" I said my voice shaky.
He rubbed my back. "Yes, ma'am?"
"I'm sorry you have to keep doing this I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up." He slammed the paddle against my ass in the center what felt like as hard as he could. "Oww gods! Fuck!" I teared up.
"Don't you EVER say that again!" He swatted again not as hard but in the same place I threw my hands back to block and he pinned them. "I never want to hear ANYTHING negative about yourself! Do I make myself clear?" He practically growled.
"Yes Sir! Yes Sir!" I cried out. I had a couple tears escape my eyes, if two swats made me tear up the rest of this punishment was gonna be hell.
"Good. Now for the actual punishment."
"J-josh, can I hold your hand?"
He stayed quiet for a minute then he released my hands from the pin. "Okay but if you reach back to block with your left hand I'll smack it with the paddle and pin it again. Clear?"
He held my right hand in his left. "Are you ready?"
"No sir I'm scared."
"I know. I'm not going to lie. It's gonna hurt but you'll do better because of it and I'll never give you more than you can take. What you did was serious, kiddo. I love you that's the only reason I'm doing this."
"Let's begin." He started swatting my ass slowly but hard. I squirned and cried out ows it already hurt from the mega swat at the beginning. 10 swats, 15 swats, 20 swats, he started spanking faster at 20 and I was earnestly crying now I threw my hand behind me but not to block my ass I grabbed a fistful of his plaid shirt. He crossed his legs and that gave him access to my sit spots. When he started spanking there I started bawling and went limp, drained but I learned my lesson. He gave me five more then released my hand and started rubbing my back. "Shh it's okay little one, Nisa's got you." He lifted me up and sat me on his lap. I buried my face in his chest and clutched his shirt.
"I'm sorry!" I cried. He responded by holding me tightly and whispering reassurances. It took me an hour to fully calm down and once I was calm. I fell asleep on my brothers lap.
We left the library about the same time, she a bit ahead of me. (Earlier, on the second floor, I thought she had been gazing at me while I sat at a table reading.) I followed her for two blocks, trailing her in my wheelchair. She was a tall black woman with thick, straight arms and large, powerful hands. I became dizzy thinking of being over her knee and her making mayhem on my naked ass. At the end of the second block I caught up with her and said hi. She turned. The expression on her face was not at all friendly. She looked as though she thought I was a stalker and freak. I guess I was. Not wanting to disturb her further, I went off in a different direction. But how I wished she had picked me up--she was strong enough to do that--pulled down my pants, and punished me in public!
My Beloved proposed recently and I accepted. I was single and seeking the same and we met on a now defunct site November 2012. I was active online on blogs and forums since 2009 (for non exhibtionists - so no photos allowed, just words), and knew who and what I was looking for.
I am a gal who goes for it!
Spankingtube helped me substantially, as had never been spanked before and because I know all the vids here and elsewhere are set up, chose exhibitionists that did it for free :)
I don't expect anyone to read this as will be deleting my account as soon as I figure out how to, but am incredibly grateful for this site and its offerings.
I've been out of the house visiting my 89 year old Aunt since midday.who by the way is the coolest 89 year old on the planet... my jaw was aching by the time I left.. she is so funny.
I was the rebel out of all my sister's she says including your mother...thats where you get it from...what do you mean? Says I ..oh you were a c@#t when you were a teenager!... thanks for that Aunty B.
Then I get home ..watch a bit of Netflix... and go to bed... then Mark comes storming up the stairs grabs the shoe horn and whacks me twice on my arse...that's for not switching the front gate lights off and not locking the back door!
I'VE NOT BEEN HERE, I NEVER SWITCHED THEM ON!.was my defence!
Apparently that doesn't matter in our house. S'not fair.
It's been a while since I last saw Josh. I was on my own now, and I lived quite a ways away from him. I had my husband and daughter but I did miss my older brother, for more reasons than one. Josh has been "taking me in hand" since I was a kid, he stood up to me and didn't let me get away with anything, he looked out for me when I did stupid stuff. We both never really sweated the small stuff, like minor attitude, cussing sometimes, or getting angry, but lately those small things have become major. I found myself snapping on everyone cussing people out, having road rage, and losing control. I wanted to punch walls or scream or fight. My attitude was spinning out of hand, and so was my desire to hurt myself or someone else. I called Josh.
"Hey Sis it's been a while, how are you?"
"When the fuck are you coming to visit?"
"Woah, hey, is something wrong?"
"Don't be such a bitch and just answer the question!" I yelled. Josh was silent for a minute.
"I was planning on coming down this weekend." He responded calmly. I groaned internally and stayed quiet. "Is that okay?"
"Whatever Joshua, you're going to do what you want anyway so why are you asking me?" I then hung up the phone. He tried to call back but I ignored all attempts, I was pissed. I needed him.
By the time the weekend came around I was losing my mind. I was punching walls and hurting myself screaming and snapping at everything. Josh had been to my house so many times that he just walked in when he got there. I looked at my brother, his hair was slightly longer in the back to his shoulders but still the shaggy brown hair. He was wearing a Hollister hoodie and dark blue jeans with his DC's, my husband saw him and greeted him then took my daughter out of the house.
"Get out, Joshua."
"Is that the way you greet your older brother?"
"I'm not fucking around Josh, get out of my house!" I yelled.
"Calm down, little one." He said softly. His face was calm and it pissed me off, I threw a vase at the wall beside him. He didn't even flinch. Finally I had enough and I stormed over to him and pushed him. He didn't even react and it was infuriating me even more, so I did something stupid. I tried to punch my brother in the face. He caught my fist and wrapped it behind my back gently, but he held me in place as he walked me into the living room. "You're asking for it kiddo, now you can either tell me what's wrong now or you can tell me what's wrong with a sore rear end."
"Fuck you! Lemme go!"
"Hard way it is." He led me to the kitchen and released my arm. I tried to run. He caught up with me and turned me to face him. "You just made this way worse. I don't know what is going on with you, but I will get to the bottom of it, by beating YOUR bottom." He was still calm and it was killing me. He grabbed my wrist and led me to one of the dining tables armless chairs. He sat down but instead of pulling me over his lap right away he took the time to get comfortable, that unnerved me and I tried to pull my wrist away. He pulled me over his lap. I instantly regretted not getting dressed. I was still in my Mickey Mouse nightgown. I kicked and fought his grip, he wrapped his right leg over mine and tightened his left hands grip on my waist.
"Wait, Nisa, I'll talk please."
"No you won't, you're only saying that because this is fixin' to happen." He didn't say anything else just started assaulting my rear end with his hand. It hurt so much more than I remembered. I was trying to remain stoic, he swatted in the same place 8 times before moving on to the next, I couldn't predict where he was hitting but it felt like he was using all his force, he did focus on just my ass until it was burning all over, I was muttering ows and I grabbed my brothers pantleg. It felt like five little switches were swatting me all at once. I squirmed, Josh was being so quiet. It made me uneasy. He then started focusing just on my sit spots. I screamed and he swatted the middle of my thigh, I squeaked. "I don't care if you are crying but if you scream again...."
"I'm sorry! It hurts! Nisa Please!"
"You asked for it, Kiddo." He sounded almost sad, but he continued spanking my sit spots and upper thighs. I was starting to tear up and almost like he sensed the change he reached down and took his shoe off. I started struggling again.
"No not your shoe, Nisa please, I'm sorry I won't get this bad again. Please!" He ignored me and pulled up my nightgown just above my rear end. I whimpered I immediately felt the difference between his shoe and his hand. I started crying softly as he landed swat after swat on my already blazing ass and sit spots, "Ow ow ow Joshie stop please." He kept up the same speed swatting all over he must have done over 30 swats.
"Are you ready to talk now?"
He let me up and sat me across from him I wiggled. "What was your attitude and violence about? And stay still you're far from done."
"I-I don't know, I guess it started a couple months after you moved away. You're the only one that cares enough to s-spank me when I get out of hand. No one else loves me in that big brother protection sort of way. And it pissed me off Nisa, I felt like you abandoned me."
"You know you could have told me all this sooner, it didn't have to escalate this way, you could have asked for it verbally instead of physically. Did you hurt yourself in the months I've been gone?"
I looked down, "Um, do I have to answer that?" He gave me the look, I winced "Yeah I have."
I sighed, "YES SIR." I grounded out.
"Alright if that's how you wanna play this. Get up."
I obeyed he put me back over his lap and wasted no time in lifting up my night gown and pulling my underwear down to my knees, "Okay okay I'm sorry sir I'm sorry."
"To little," He started swatting with his shoe again hitting harder than he did before. "To late." He increased the swats and the speed, and I started bawling after 40 more swats, I counted that time. "You have some coming with the belt for self harm."
"Yes Sir." I cried out. I helped me up and bent me over the arm of the couch. I heard him pull off his belt and he lifted my nightgown again. The first swat was a blazing line of fire, and he didn't waste any time swatting hard and fast with the belt from the top of my ass to my upper thighs. I felt my rebellion and my attitude slip away along with the guilt of my behavior I buried my face in my hands and sobbed. I guess he noticed I didn't have any fight left so he directed the last 10 swats where I'd be sitting, he rubbed my back and helped me off the couch I pulled up my underwear and ran into his arms. He held me tightly one arm behind my back and the other was running his fingers through my hair. "I'm so sorry."
"I know you are." He held me like that for 30 minutes. I didn't want to meet his eyes, but when I was done crying he made me. "Next time don't go asking for it, ASK for it, before it gets this bad."
"Now go clean up the glass from the vase and show me where I can sleep, I'll be here for a week."
"Yes Sir. Wait a week?!"
"Yes Ma'am, I'm going to be looking for apartments here." He said "Apparently I can't trust you on your own yet." He smirked at me. I laughed and went to clean up the glass.
Since Saturday's play, when I nearly had a panic attack because Master placed his hand around my neck, then asking Master if breathplay can never be done again, I've had a terrible guilty, disappointed feeling which just won't go away.
And I don't really understand it.
I feel like I've let myself down and disappointed Master.
Since we ventured into this journey, there's been many things I said I would never do and over time Master has encouraged me to do them and learn to love it.
So I know it certainly wasn't Masters fault, it was my fear that couldn't go away.
I know Master would never do anything to hurt me deliberately and I know he watches me constantly during our play to ensure I'm okay, so that's no concern. It's all mental. This has been the only time I've felt scared, I mean real fucking scared. Of such a small thing like a hand barely touching my throat.
Yet this small thing renders me to hysteria.
Master hasn't mentioned it again and we've not played since but I've got this awful feeling I've disappointed him by not trusting him, which of course I do 100%, I feel I've disappointed myself so Master could be feeling the same way. I need to talk to him about it but truthfully, I'm scared he will say I have. It will break my heart if he says those words.
Now comes the hard part though, if we talk about it and decide to try it slowly, very slowly, can I overcome my fear ? Am I better just leaving this alone ? Am I doing it just to please Master and if I am, is that okay ? I'm not sure how much of this play I could do. But this feeling of disappointment is so huge and just won't go away.
But my fear is just as big as the disappointment. I don't know what to do.
I'm looking to film with female subs/bottoms in Glasgow city centre, if you are in to caning even better. If you're a masochist then that would be awesome.
I can play to any level and always respect limits. If you have other interests then I can incorporate them into the scene, I'm experienced in many different fetishes so just ask if you're unsure of my capabilities in your preferred fetish.
I don't care about age, shape or anything else like that. Please get in touch if you would be interested. Over 18's only.
I have mainly been filming with friends of mine from the fet scene.
I woke up this morning with a craving for a fizzy drink. I knew there was a big bottle of 7up in the fridge.
Do you think I could get the bloody lid undone?... no, Mark has 'just done it up' whereas now, unless you have the strength of Thor that lid is not coming off...all day I've gotta wait now and every now and then I look at the bottle and curl my top lip.
I hate being a girrrrrrrl. :(
Had my first real spanking a month or so back and it was amazing the guy knew exactly how to go between maintenance and punishment, it hurt like crazy but the warmth I felt between was amazing. So thankful to him for taking time out to help me and discipline me. I was wanting it to end during I can’t deny when my butt was receiving the cane but now I kinda miss it and the feeling!! Had to share xx